Here It Goes Again

     It's been 10 years or so since I last wrote a blog. It's still up and dear god - reading it makes me cringe. However, I decided to keep it as a memorial of my former self.    

    "Why start again?", you may ask. Well - I have been suffering from anxiety attacks (which I haven't had for a while) and lack of deep sleep. I've been trying everything - meditation, eating better, reading and staying away from my phone before bed, walking more - and still I'm only averaging about 20 minutes of deep sleep a night. I suspect it's hormonal - I'm in the midst of perimenopause. In case it's not hormonal - or not *just* hormonal - I decided to try the one thing I haven't done in ages. I've talked about writing a blog again with my therapist, but I guess in some way I wasn't desperate enough yet to get off my ass and do it. It's been 2 years since we talked about it, and I mentioned it again recently (or maybe just thought about it?), so here I am. 

    I don't expect anyone to really read or respond to this. So much of our online lives are inundated with all the terrible things happening in the world - and holy hell there is a lot of it. I'd love to do some lovely happy blog about all the good things, but this is likely just going to be a place for me to word vomit all of my anxiety and worries - and who is going to want to read that? 

     Maybe eventually I'll get past all that and write funny things again. That would be nice.